Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
