She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
