If i come over, it means nothing
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
