Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize