Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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