Apparently you make a good broom.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
