So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize