I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize