I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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