She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
