i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
