I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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