It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
