do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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