Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
