from now on my penis is your penis
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
