It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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