Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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