HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
