his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
