I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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