My friends, they love my intelligence
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
