I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize