i barfeds in our rink
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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