i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
