I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
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Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public