Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(321): I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night. http://tfl.nu/rqck

Replies (11) Good night (1623) Bad night (706)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level. http://tfl.nu/ek4x

Replies (2) Good night (1742) Bad night (578)
Favorite
(970): View more from Colorado

You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(970): You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by http://tfl.nu/7cd3

Replies (13) Good night (4139) Bad night (1106)
Favorite
(505): View more from New Mexico

you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(505): you were trying to give my penis an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/5vh0

Replies (36) Good night (898) Bad night (8696)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate. http://tfl.nu/mwsu

Replies (53) Good night (6085) Bad night (975)
Favorite
(514): View more from Quebec

He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(514): He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic. http://tfl.nu/4dpi

Replies (38) Good night (12380) Bad night (1397)
Favorite
(409): View more from Texas

He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(409): He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this' http://tfl.nu/libu

Replies (15) Good night (5591) Bad night (1343)
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears http://tfl.nu/xih7

Replies (19) Good night (5114) Bad night (836)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper http://tfl.nu/z4y6

Replies (28) Good night (5890) Bad night (1463)
Favorite
(281): View more from Texas

I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(281): I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add. http://tfl.nu/n27a

Replies (27) Good night (3285) Bad night (771)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here. http://tfl.nu/jknc

Replies (13) Good night (1356) Bad night (712)
Favorite
(401): View more from Rhode Island

I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(401): I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night http://tfl.nu/cz9o

Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (583)
Favorite
(414): View more from Wisconsin

Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(414): Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside. http://tfl.nu/lx27

Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (453)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?

(541): View more from Oregon

CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner? (541): CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING http://tfl.nu/5lve

Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (391)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver. http://tfl.nu/0dvj

Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (216)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard