I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I spit up blood this morning
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night