Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?