this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
