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if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Randomize
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