yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It was a blind-side dick pic.