now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
