State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
