worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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