ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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