well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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