and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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