member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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