just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
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i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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