New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
