We won't sleep together?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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