I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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