thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
