I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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