Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
