Dual....:-)
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
