You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
