I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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