I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
