And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
