Ambien. No doubt about it.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
