I cockslap morals
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
