I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
