I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
