Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just gargled with NyQuil
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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