theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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