I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
