At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
