he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
