That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
