cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize