I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I understand Curling. That high.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
