I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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