this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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