In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
