You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
