you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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